When Your Spouse Commits A Sex Crime...

It began on a snowy evening 27 years ago. I went sleigh riding with friends and met my high school sweetheart. My first true love. A highschool football player with the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you ever saw. We went to his school prom. We were in love. We married and had four children. He was a popular school teacher, and I homeschooled our children. Today... it hit me that I am really alone.

About a year ago, I found out that my husband was living a much different life than I had thought. At first I thought it was just about a student having a crush on my husband. Then I found out it was much worse. When I first found out my husband commited a sex crime, my world began to crumble. When I found out he had betrayed me, lied to me, cheated on me, I almost couldn't believe it; it was sureal. It was as if I was watching somebody else's bad dream.

Today, I have no routine. I live each day trying to make sense of what happened and what will have to happen - its like today doesn't even exist. Today, I didn't even get dressed. Didn't shower. Didn't go to the gym. Didn't do anything but look for work on line, lay in bed, and cry. Today, I realized just how alone I am. I realized just how terrible of a thing he did to me and our children. Today I mourned the fact that I have no one to love me. I have no parents, no sister, no brother. I don't even have the wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law that I use to have. My church even kicked me out because that didn't want to be associated with someone who was married to a man who had sex with a student.; a thirteen year old girl (even though I turned him in).

And, so now, I'm writing. I don't know what else to do. I can't find a job. I have no money. I keep thinking that if I had not turned him in, he would still have a job. There would be food and money for my children. We would have a vacation that we so need. But, NO. I had to open my mouth and do the right thing. Please, tell me, how does society thank me? Does society even care? Sure, I bet they are glad that I turned in the pervert. They would say they would do the same thing. But can anyone imagine just how hard it is for a stay at home mom who homeschooled her 4 kids to now place her kids in school and struggle to find work? Who wants to hire me? I've been home for almost 12 years. My degree is that old and now useless. I haven't worked. I have no references. I have no family to run to ( I am stuck living in the same house with my "X" - although we live on different floors). So, tell, me...what would you do?